Familienkonferenz: Wie Konflikte mit Kindern gelöst



10 thoughts on “Familienkonferenz: Wie Konflikte mit Kindern gelöst werden

  1. Suebee Suebee says:

    Excellent book with many practical examples Three main techniques Active ListeningWhen a child presents a problem concern expresses something at all, echo back to them what you hear they are FEELING not just parrot back what they say , no judgement, evaluation, lecture, etc Just LISTEN and echo back what they say, allowing them to own the problem and come to their own solution Do not worry if in one listening session a problem is not reached it is not your problem to solve.I Messages I fee Excellent book with many practical examples Three main techniques Active ListeningWhen a child presents a problem concern expresses something at all, echo back to them what you hear they are FEELING not just parrot back what they say , no judgement, evaluation, lecture, etc Just LISTEN and echo back what they say, allowing them to own the problem and come to their own solution Do not worry if in one listening session a problem is not reached it is not your problem to solve.I Messages I feel ______ when _______ because I feel upset when you push your brother because he gets hurt and I feel bad when I see someone bigger pushing someone littler than them Instead of YOU messages which make the child feel bad and drive them away from you Method III collaborative problem solvingMethod I Parent decides what goes, adheres to it strictly, removing voice of the childMethod II Parent tries to enforce what goes, but ends up always giving into the child, creating no sense of respect orderMethod III Hey, I have a problem Can we talk about ______ and how we could figure this out Do not judge,, allow all possible solutions to be presented and agree on one together


  2. Al Duran Al Duran says:

    This book is very helpful not only for parenting and child rearing, but also for improving interpersonal relations in general Engaging in active listening, avoiding blaming others with you messages and focusing on I messages, and participating in no lose conflict resolution will make one a happier andcooperative individual The techniques illustrated in P.E.T helped me become a better person after I first read the book when I was in my twenties.


  3. Elisabeth Elisabeth says:

    Absolutely the best parenting book I ve read It s already had the biggest impact on our lives of any parenting book I ve read And it seems to be the book that all my favorites were based on Are you a fan of Playful Parenting, Unconditional Parenting, Siblings Without Rivalry, or Raising our Children Raising Ourselves You ll love this book Actually if you want to learn specific techniques for parenting and are open to why the traditional model isn t working, you ll love this book Actually e Absolutely the best parenting book I ve read It s already had the biggest impact on our lives of any parenting book I ve read And it seems to be the book that all my favorites were based on Are you a fan of Playful Parenting, Unconditional Parenting, Siblings Without Rivalry, or Raising our Children Raising Ourselves You ll love this book Actually if you want to learn specific techniques for parenting and are open to why the traditional model isn t working, you ll love this book Actually even if you re not You may love this book I ve read a lot of parenting books This is hands down the best I havedirection and security in my parenting than ever Please read it It might save your family s lives I mean ask yourself this do you want growing resentment to build between you and your child until they check out from you as teens and can t wait to get away and disregard everything you ve said as adults Or do you want a close, meaningful relationship with them where your guidance continues to be of value to them into adulthood Do you want anger, hostility, threats, guilt, fear, rebellion to be the big players in your household Or do you want to be able to express your limits calmly and have them be heard and your child actually care about how you re impacted and modify their own behavior because they care Read this book I think my family is finally on the road to happier interactions, loving connection, and mutual respect Why did I wait so long to read this I m for sure going to read it again ASAP I really want its lessons to stick.I want to note that this book is best read before the teen years, actually the earlier the better, and it might be able to help in the teen years too Many mistakenly believe that the material is only useful with teens because of developed reasoning skills Actually even small children haveof this ability than we give them credit for And teens may be too far gone with your existing methods to accept that things could be different It s worth a shot with teens, certainly, but please don t intentionally put off reading this till then because you think your kid won t be able to get it all I have mixed feelings thinking about how long this book has been around I wish I d read it before my kids left infancy for one But I mean, it s been 40 years How has the world ignored it this long Gosh we could have had a couple of generations of amazing people come out of this by now Not to mention what impact it could have had on my upbringing Gah If only my parents had read it Finished March 18 2013, starting again in May 3013


  4. Angiefm Angiefm says:

    I m not sure about this one I think the main methods outlined Active Listening, using I messages,and finding solutions together with your children instead of imposing them from above, are good in theory, and I ve been using all three However, the author never really addresses the two issues I grapple with most often 1 the moment by moment corrections of things that aren t a huge deal,but are important please don t drag that furniture across the floor, could you do that in the potty instead I m not sure about this one I think the main methods outlined Active Listening, using I messages,and finding solutions together with your children instead of imposing them from above, are good in theory, and I ve been using all three However, the author never really addresses the two issues I grapple with most often 1 the moment by moment corrections of things that aren t a huge deal,but are important please don t drag that furniture across the floor, could you do that in the potty instead, etc and 2 how to apply these consistently with a toddler Sure, I messages are all well and good, but my two year old doesn t care that it makes me feel frustrated when he smears his sticky hands on my clothes or that it makes his sister cry when he throws his truck at her I do think that it makes our 6 year old feel empowered andlikely to stick with a solution when she helped to find it The toddler may have to grow into that


  5. Sarah Ford Sarah Ford says:

    Although this is a book about parenting, I recommend it to you if you re interested in improving your relationships with everyone The premise of the book is that some parents use their power to control their children, while other parents, in order to be liked by their kids or to keep the peace, allow their children to do whatever they want at the expense of their own needs The author details these scenarios and then offers a third possibility, one in which situations are resolved in ways that Although this is a book about parenting, I recommend it to you if you re interested in improving your relationships with everyone The premise of the book is that some parents use their power to control their children, while other parents, in order to be liked by their kids or to keep the peace, allow their children to do whatever they want at the expense of their own needs The author details these scenarios and then offers a third possibility, one in which situations are resolved in ways that meet the needs of all He encourages cooperation in finding these solutions I believe that the meat and potatoes of this method are really to be found in the PET workshops that are given from time to time You can do a search and find out when and where they will be held, and you can get on their mailing list to get newsletters I am on that, and I can tell you that they don t flood my mailbox I d love to go to a workshop, but for the time being, I have gotten sufficient guidance from this book to improve my relationships with my children I have two kids under the age of three, so I m happy to have read PET while they re so little It seems like it would be hard to incorporate this parenting style once a power struggle is deeply entrenched, although I believe it is worth it to try if you re in that boat The author addresses that at length I notice that the technique of Active Listening has been effective with my son when he s upset The author believes that children are not given nearly enough opportunities to be responsible I have to say that, as a parent, I am nervous about trusting my kids in the way he asks me to, and I m sure that that s because I am enculturated to feel this way It s going to take a major shift in my thinking, but because I want the best for my children, I am going to give the PET approach a chance, in baby steps


  6. MomToKippy MomToKippy says:

    Read this book many years ago and was thinking of it today One of the best books I have ever read and as another reviewer said it is life changing This book is not really just for parenting, it is for anyone who interacts with other human beings on a regular basis and wants to improve communication in their relationships I was deeply saddened when Dr Gordon passed away Now here s someone that really deserved a nobel peace prize Dr Thomas Gordon March 11, 1918 August 26, 2002 was an Am Read this book many years ago and was thinking of it today One of the best books I have ever read and as another reviewer said it is life changing This book is not really just for parenting, it is for anyone who interacts with other human beings on a regular basis and wants to improve communication in their relationships I was deeply saddened when Dr Gordon passed away Now here s someone that really deserved a nobel peace prize Dr Thomas Gordon March 11, 1918 August 26, 2002 was an American clinical psychologist and colleague of Carl Rogers He is widely recognized as a pioneer in teaching communication skills and conflict resolution methods to parents, teachers, leaders, women, youth and salespeople The model he developed came to known as the Gordon Model or the Gordon Method, a complete and integrated system for building and maintaining effective relationships.Gordon strongly believed that the use of coercive power damages relationships As an alternative, he taught people skills for communicating and resolving conflicts that they can use to establish or improve good relationships at home, school and at work These skills, which include active listening, I messages and No Lose Conflict Resolution, are now widely known and used by people around the world.In recognition of his contributions to the betterment of humanity, Dr Gordon was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997, 1998 and 1999 In addition, both the American Psychological Foundation and the California Psychological Association presented him with lifetime achievement awards Gordon Training International in Solana Beach, California, the company he founded in 1974, continues his work from Wiki


  7. Jennifer Jennifer says:

    I had touted Love and Logic parenting for a long time but then I realized I couldn t implement it effectively, lovingly and in a way where I felt I was being respectful of my children as individuals I always felt like I was manipulating circumstances and making up natural consequences to make a point I also didn t like it when they were old enough to turn it around on me or attempt it incorrectly on each other e.g., Hey, sis, do you want to play with me or do you want me to throw my sho I had touted Love and Logic parenting for a long time but then I realized I couldn t implement it effectively, lovingly and in a way where I felt I was being respectful of my children as individuals I always felt like I was manipulating circumstances and making up natural consequences to make a point I also didn t like it when they were old enough to turn it around on me or attempt it incorrectly on each other e.g., Hey, sis, do you want to play with me or do you want me to throw my shoe at you I am deeply grateful, however, for all LL taught me about discipline, boundaries and the importance of cultivating responsibility in kids.Now about THIS book I Love It I can communicate honestly with my children, I am called to respect their needs and feelings, and am charged with making sure my own needs are addressed as well The communication strategies are essentially the Golden Rule, and if my children model my ideal behavior speaking in I statements, trying to achieve a win win when there is conflict, listening effectively , we will all be the better for it I am allowed to be frustrated and express that appropriately I am not a referee when the kids have a problem recently, after implementing PET, I have watched fascinated as they solved a problem on their own after all I said was simply, Just talk to each other and work it out, please Whether or not you struggle with your temper or your kids behaving appropriately, this is a wonderful book on communication that will help you in your relationship with your children, and adults as well


  8. Leia Leia says:

    This book has one very important idea that really works Once you get the concept, it seems like the author drones on and on about it TLDR this could be a three chapter book I highly recommend reading the first couple of chapters and skimming until you find parts you want to read The examples throughout are very worthy.The P.E.T technique has really revolutionized the relationship between me and my child Warning, the intro makes it sound like this book promote permissive parenting Don t b This book has one very important idea that really works Once you get the concept, it seems like the author drones on and on about it TLDR this could be a three chapter book I highly recommend reading the first couple of chapters and skimming until you find parts you want to read The examples throughout are very worthy.The P.E.T technique has really revolutionized the relationship between me and my child Warning, the intro makes it sound like this book promote permissive parenting Don t be put off by that ESSENTIAL reading if you find yourself nagging your children often


  9. Eike Post Preischaft Eike Post Preischaft says:

    I am not a parent myself but this was an excellent book, that made me improve my communication not only with children but with any other human beeing.There are three things that are really well explained 1 reacting to conflict and to child s problem by active listening2 reacting to conflict and misbehavior with I feel statement 3 cooperative conflict solutionIt is such a good book that I summarized it here I am not a parent myself but this was an excellent book, that made me improve my communication not only with children but with any other human beeing.There are three things that are really well explained 1 reacting to conflict and to child s problem by active listening2 reacting to conflict and misbehavior with I feel statement 3 cooperative conflict solutionIt is such a good book that I summarized it here


  10. ratherastory ratherastory says:

    I wish again that I could give half stars to my reviews.This book is very out of date I think that there may be a revised edition, but it wasn t available at my library Using a public phone booth stopped costing a dime before I was born, for example The outdated examples made it difficult to pay attention to the content, because I was too busy rolling my eyes at the book.The basic principles are sound Active listening and being empathetic with your child are very good tools to connect with y I wish again that I could give half stars to my reviews.This book is very out of date I think that there may be a revised edition, but it wasn t available at my library Using a public phone booth stopped costing a dime before I was born, for example The outdated examples made it difficult to pay attention to the content, because I was too busy rolling my eyes at the book.The basic principles are sound Active listening and being empathetic with your child are very good tools to connect with your children and avoid or end behaviour you find unacceptable There arerecent books that articulate these methods better and haveemphasis on connectedness and empathy.I wish I knew who all these well spoken, articulate children are that so many authors of parenting books seem to know This isn t the only book in which the sample dialogues have children speaking in artificial, stilted ways, and being able to reason their way to a solution by themselves within three or four sentences, even when they re three years old I m not an expert, but I ve never met a child who speaks the way these children do, not even the really precocious children I ve met


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Familienkonferenz: Wie Konflikte mit Kindern gelöst werden PET or Parent Effectiveness Training, began almost forty years ago as the first national parent training program to teach parents how to communicate effectively with kids and offer step by step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world and it will work for you Now revised for the first time since its initial publication, this groundbreaking guide will show you How to avoid being a permissive parentHow to listen so kids will talk to you and talk so kids will listen to you How to teach your children to own their problems and to solve themHow to use the No Lose method to resolve conflictsUsing the timeless methods of PET will have immediate results less fighting, fewer tantrums and lies, no need for punishment Whether you have a toddler striking out for independence or a teenager who has already started rebelling, you ll find PET a compassionate, effective way to instill responsibility and create a nurturing family environment in which your child will thrive ❰PDF❯ ✩ The Maranaw Torogan Author Abdullah T Madale – 9facts.co.uk began almost forty years ago as the first national parent training program to teach parents how to communicate effectively with kids and offer step by step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins This beloved classic is the most studied ❰Epub❯ ❦ Seven Hills Away and Other Stories Author N.V.M. Gonzalez – 9facts.co.uk highly praised [Download] ➽ Walong Diwata ng Pagkahulog By Edgar Calabia Samar – 9facts.co.uk and proven parenting program in the world and it will work for you Now revised for the first time since its initial publication ❮Reading❯ ➾ The New Girl (Gabriel Allon Author Daniel Silva – 9facts.co.uk this groundbreaking guide will show you How to avoid being a permissive parentHow to listen so kids will talk to you and talk so kids will listen to you How to teach your children to own their problems and to solve themHow to use the No Lose method to resolve conflictsUsing the timeless methods of PET will have immediate results less fighting ❴Reading❵ ➽ Gabryel Honasan (Stallion, Author Sofia (PHR) – 9facts.co.uk fewer tantrums and lies ➶ [Reading] ➸ As They Spoke to Me By Puneet Singh ➫ – 9facts.co.uk no need for punishment Whether you have a toddler striking out for independence or a teenager who has already started rebelling ❰Ebook❯ ➨ Nakatanim na Granada ang Diyos Author Rebecca T. Añonuevo – 9facts.co.uk you ll find PET a compassionate ❰PDF / Epub❯ ☄ Mate Me [If You May] (The Millennium Wolves, Author Sapir Englard – 9facts.co.uk effective way to instill responsibility and create a nurturing family environment in which your child will thrive


About the Author: Thomas Gordon

Thomas Gordon was an American clinical psychologist, student and later colleague of Carl Rogers He was mainly known for his Gordon Method, primarily a method to improve relationships between parents and children that was later developed into a general communication method to improve all relationships.Dr Gordon spentthan 50 years teaching parents, teachers and leaders the model he developed for building effective relationships His model was based on a strong belief that the use of coercive power damages relationships As an alternative, he taught people skills for communicating and resolving conflicts that they can use to build and maintain good relationships at home, school and at work These skills, which include Active Listening, I Messages and No Lose Conflict Resolution, are now widely known and used by people around the world He first applied some of these methods in the 1950s as a consultant to business organizations Then, in the early 60s, he developed the Parent Effectiveness Training course commonly known as P.E.T and taught the first class to a group of 14 parents in a Pasadena, CA cafeteria The courses proved to be so popular with parents that he began training instructors throughout the U.S to teach it in their communities Over the next several years, the course spread to all 50 states.In recognition of his contributions to the betterment of humanity, Dr Gordon was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997, 1998 and 1999 In addition, both the American Psychological Foundation and the California Psychological Association presented him with lifetime achievement awards Gordon Training International, the company he founded in 1974, continues his work.