Parking Lot Rules 75 Other Ideas for Raising Amazing

Parking Lot Rules 75 Other Ideas for Raising Amazing Children Fairly hit or miss The first third of the book has some good advice but the latter sections feel rather thin If you're a single dad who's obsessed with sports this may very well be the perfect book for you For the rest of us it leaves a lot to be desired For instance there's no discussion of raising children with a spouse or grandparents in the picture The tone comes across a bit sanctimonious and unrealistic Sturges gives us a lot of rules that should never be broken fair enough But over the thousands of days you're going to spend with your child you will falter now and again There's no discussion of how to reduce the number mistakes we make or how to talk to your child about how parents make mistakes once in a while you simply should never have erred in the first place The hard line approach the book offers has an unappealing whiff of religious zealotry Nevertheless there is some good here and it's certainly a uick read probably only a couple hours I'd recommend a cursory skim and to see if Sturges's style of prose and parenting matches up with your own I was going to give this book 5 stars and then I made the mistake of looking at other reviews and allowing them to color my perspective Is the author a little too cocky and condescending Perhaps But does that make the content of the book any less valuable Not really And ok so everyone is all up in arms about flicking water in a kids face but that was one of 75 ideas which were compiled from experts friends and family You don't have to like or agree with all 75 They're just ideasI personally thought there was a lot of valuable content that will improve my relationships not only with my children but with my friends and even husband For example responding with yes instead of what when someone calls your name Lastly to all these people pointing out the authors marital status and saying his writing is irrelevant to them because they're in two parent relationships I don't see it I am happily married and am not single parenting and there was not one idea in this book that I couldn't apply if I wanted to I think what were actually seeing is a lot of defensiveness based on people having parented differently in the past No need folks He's not trying to call you out He's trying to share his wisdom and make money selling books Let's all calm down Overall I thought this was a uick and worthwhile read I can see how a certain type of parent might find this book helpful however I am not that type of parent The author of this book has a child rearing philosophy centered on the idea the the parent is the ultimate authority whose job it is to make the children into something the parent thinks is ideal Tom Sturges is always the teacher and is always right I admit that Sturges does scratch the surface of an important topic treating your kids with respect He doesn't go far enough in my opinion Surges gets lost because he sees his kids a a part of himself He can't see that they are individuals with individual personalities and assumes that they have motives and abilities that they may not have His kids seem to have so many rules and hedges built around them that they cannot ever hope to find their own limits the kids are so hedged in by what their dad thinks they should dobe and what is PC that I will be amazed if they grow up to be people who know who they are and if they like eggs Benedict He could really use a child development course to understand that 6 year olds should not be criticized for not putting 'enough' effort into a golf game and that whispered abuse is not necessarily better than yelling Though some parts were a little cheesy I thought this book had a lot of good ideas I especially liked Grow the Tree You've Got It really did inspire me to try to be a better parent I have a hard time believing that the author follows ALL of his own rules all the time with his kids No one can be that perfect I wish he would have conceded that point a little bit I prefer my parenting advice to come from someone who is a little self deprecating and realistic Still it was a nice little book If you ever read Robert Fulgum’s All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kinderarten then you’ll understand what I mean when I say that Tom Sturges’ Parking Lot Rules is this decade’s version of Fulgham’s go to guide for parentsHere are some examples of Sturge’s words of wisdom • EVERYDAY Let your children feel welcome and loved from the first moment he or she walks into a room “Smile When You See Him” rule #4 and leave no doubt that at that moment your child is the most important person in your world • COMMUNICATING Since yelling parents intimidate and a calm tone inspires “When You Get Upset Whisper” rule #22 –and make sure your message is heard • MANNERS MATTERS Follow “The Bill Walton Rule” rule #34 and if you can’t be on time be early • NO LOST CHILDREN When a family or group travels together obey “The Caboose Rule” rule #43 by assigning an adult or older child to keep up the rear–and ensure that no little ones lag behind • DISCIPLINES AND PUNISHMENTS “The 10 Second Rule” rule #49 prescribes the minimum amount of time you should wait before thinking about punishing your child for that D in English • PAIN HAPPENS NOW WHAT After your child experiences a little cut bump or scrape say “Sueeze My Hand as Much as It Hurts” rule #62; it is remarkable how their being able to “show” you will help to ease his or her pain • PLAY SPORTS PERIOD When your children accomplish something great in their sports using “The ESPN Rule” rule #67 tell the story in intimate detail and fill them with the belief that they can do it again and againWritten in uick chapters with amazing stories that will inspire you and change the way you view communication and child rearing Parking Lot Rules is a must have for new parents and those seeking ways to make life easier I try not to reshelve too many books but I just could not finish this book You know what they say about opinions everyone has one and Sturges just wants to share his opinion of what great parenting looks and sounds like I wanted to see what he had to say and take the gems that worked for me but I had a hard time with the tone of the writing Nothing against the book the ideas or the writer but you can't please everyone and I'm going to move on I'm trying to pepper in some non fiction in my growing list of fiction books to read This is one of the first I've actually made it all the way through non fiction has to work pretty hard to keep my attention or to jockey for position during my limited and precious me timeI used to read a lot of parenting books but when you have two kids who has the time I picked up Parking Lot Rules because it doled out advice in a way I could easily digest it in uick and easy to read lessons and essays I wouldn't say there was anything revolutionary in the book in terms of advice some of the earliest recommendations were common sense and almost laughable like reminding your kids to pull back their hands when you close the door by saying Fingers fingers every time you shut the door However I have closed my son's hand in the door before so maybe that advice isn't so common sense But I digressI did take two good recommendations from the book though Once seen never unseen meaning that once your kids see something horrible on TV or in the news you can never get that slice of innocence back for them The other advice that resonated with me It's almost never a good idea to say the first thing that pops into your head This is true in business in relationships and especially in raising children I have to fight that instinct a lot especially when I'm frustrated with my kids but I've started reminding myself of that sage adviceThe book is full of little nuggets like these that might be helpful and at least inspire some reflection I wouldn't say its a fantastic read but it's worth picking up for some uick parenting idea sharing Just finished this and really enjoyed it Lots of good things to remember and even to come back to as the kids grow so I might have to purchase it for myself I did think it was geared for a little older kids my oldest is three because there were lots of times when I was reading this while nursing my 3 month old at bedtime while the toddler was upstairs having a fussy tired meltdown with Daddy and I found myself wondering what Rule we could use for times like thatI marked this review as having spoilers because I listed my favorite rules for my own referenceMy favorite Rules#1 Parking Lot Rules already put this into effect Works even going on a walk when she gets too far ahead of us#4 Smile When You See Them#6 Treat Her Like Your Boss so hard when she is a fussy disaster#7 Almost Always Skip the First Thing That Comes to Mind#14 Yes Not What#18 The Five Best Times to Talk to Your Child bath bed drive wake up anytime#22 When You Get Upset Whisper#48 The Truth Reduces the Punishment By 90%#56 5 Very Effective Nonviolent Punishments esp writing sentences and make him apologize to the whole family One might wonder why a mother of three would pick up this book I wondered that myself at first But with my older two kids just a couple short years from hitting their tween phase and with my littlest one being a spunky hot tempered little thing who's uite different from how her older siblings were when they were babies I thought it would be good to read this book for various reasons 1 to see how my parenting measures up to the principles in this book; and 2 to see if I could do something different or betterAs it turns out much of how I had already felt about parenting is echoed in this book but my style of parenting could be pushed further by the main overall principle which is to above all respect your child and to teach himher what that respect means The principles reiterate a language of understanding and empathy be a good listener be a good storyteller hug lots and be encouraging Not only is this good for the parent but if done properly and effectively the child will mirror these actions and learn the importance of this principle in terms of everyday life and interactionsYou can read my comments to see what I gathered from the book Keep in mind that I only talk about what I found particularly useful which doesn't mean that I didn't find everything that I didn't write about not useful Rather I have already been doing some of the principles and didn't want to repeat them or I didn't really like the rules The comments are for me to look at and be reminded of what things I can try outI did tell my two older kids about this book and what I found useful They are very receptive to this discussion and I'm excited to see how it all goes down especially when my husband takes a look at my review and comments and we discuss this as a familyI recommend this book to anyone really not just parents who want to examine human interaction from a different lens How do you raise amazing children How do you teach them to be kind and honest insightful and inuisitive athletic and curious loving and thoughtful How do you give your child the courage to be a good sport a good sibling a good friend a good person When Tom Sturges became a father he wanted to be the greatest father who ever walked the earth “I wanted to be so much than a casual observer of my son’s life as it went by me” So Sturges asked a lot of uestions He picked up ideas advice and tips from parents grandparents even rock stars and sports legends–anyone who had uniue insights to share The result is this practical inspiring “rule book” for raising healthy happy safe cherished children Philosophical sensible and empowering these 76 ideas subscribe to a simple premise It is impossible to respect a child too much but it is worth the effort to try The rules are organized into seven fields arranged by subject and will help parents mentors coaches and anyone who has children to deal with an array of situations in a kind respectful and encouraging way • EVERYDAY Let your children feel welcome and loved from the first moment he or she walks into a room “Smile When You See Him” rule #4 and leave no doubt that at that moment your child is the most important person in your world• COMMUNICATING Since yelling parents intimidate and a calm tone inspires “When You Get Upset Whisper” rule #22 –and make sure your message is heard• MANNERS MATTERS Follow “The Bill Walton Rule” rule #34 and if you can’t be on time be early• NO LOST CHILDREN When a family or group travels together obey “The Caboose Rule” rule #43 by assigning an adult or older child to keep up the rear–and ensure that no little ones lag behind• DISCIPLINES AND PUNISHMENTS “The 10 Second Rule” rule #49 prescribes the minimum amount of time you should wait before thinking about punishing your child for that D in English• PAIN HAPPENS NOW WHAT After your child experiences a little cut bump or scrape say “Sueeze My Hand as Much as It Hurts” rule #62; it is remarkable how their being able to “show” you will help to ease his or her pain• PLAY SPORTS PERIOD When your children accomplish something great in their sports using “The ESPN Rule” rule #67 tell the story in intimate detail and fill them with the belief that they can do it again and again From the Hardcover edition

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