!!> Read ➳ He Wins, She Wins ➶ Author Willard F. Harley Jr. – 9facts.co.uk

He Wins, She Wins When You Get Married, You Expect Your Relationship To Be A Partnership In Which You Make Decisions And Face The World Together, United But Often A Husband S Perspective And A Wife S Perspective On The Same Issue Can Be Very Different And Unity In Decision Making Can Be Tough Should Spouses Take Turns Getting Their Way Should They Compromise Can They Avoid Making Decisions Altogether Dr Harley Says There S A Better Way A Way In Which Both Partners Get What They Want And Believe Is Best Every TimeIn He Wins, She Wins, Dr Harley Introduces The Revolutionary Concept Of Joint Agreement In Marriage That Keeps Both Husband And Wife On Equal Footing And Equally Satisfied This Win Win Model For Negotiation Starts With A Simple Rule Never Do Anything Without Enthusiastic Agreement Between You And Your Spouse Dr Harley Walks Couples Through The Five Most Common Sources Of Conflict In Marriage, Friends And Family, Career And Time Management, Finances, Children, And Sex , Applying The Joint Agreement Rule In Every Situation And He Teaches Readers How To Resolve Conflicts The Right Way, So That Not Only Are Those Conflicts Resolved Once And For All But The Couple S Love For One Another Actually Grows And Is Sustained For The Rest Of Their LivesAnyone Who Has Been Married Long Enough To Have A Disagreement Will Benefit From This Unique New Book From Everyone S Favorite Marriage Doctor [Ebook] ↠ Book Lover Author Jennifer Kaufman – 9facts.co.uk You Expect Your Relationship To Be A Partnership In Which You Make Decisions And Face The World Together [Epub] ➝ Secret Delivery / Her 24-Hour Protector By Delores Fossen – 9facts.co.uk United But Often A Husband S Perspective And A Wife S Perspective On The Same Issue Can Be Very Different And Unity In Decision Making Can Be Tough Should Spouses Take Turns Getting Their Way Should They Compromise Can They Avoid Making Decisions Altogether Dr Harley Says There S A Better Way A Way In Which Both Partners Get What They Want And Believe Is Best Every TimeIn He Wins [BOOKS] ⚡ Kholodovs Last Mistress ✯ Kate Hewitt – 9facts.co.uk She Wins ➿ Wicked Sinner (Regency Sinners 7) Auteur Carole Mortimer – 9facts.co.uk Dr Harley Introduces The Revolutionary Concept Of Joint Agreement In Marriage That Keeps Both Husband And Wife On Equal Footing And Equally Satisfied This Win Win Model For Negotiation Starts With A Simple Rule Never Do Anything Without Enthusiastic Agreement Between You And Your Spouse Dr Harley Walks Couples Through The Five Most Common Sources Of Conflict In Marriage [[ Read ]] ➪ If the Stiletto Fits... Author Wendy Etherington – 9facts.co.uk Friends And Family !!> PDF ✫ What Phoebe Wants (Harlequin Flipside, ✓ Author Cindi Myers – 9facts.co.uk Career And Time Management [Download] ➾ Ruthlessly Royal (Self-Made Millionaires ➹ Robyn Donald – 9facts.co.uk Finances [PDF] ✈ An Amish Family Christmas Author Marta Perry – 9facts.co.uk Children ➭ Interrupted Lullaby Read ➵ Author Dana R. Lynn – 9facts.co.uk And Sex !!> EPUB ✿ Gift-Wrapped Governess ✺ Author Sophia James – 9facts.co.uk Applying The Joint Agreement Rule In Every Situation And He Teaches Readers How To Resolve Conflicts The Right Way [ Read ] ➬ Vows of Revenge Author Dani Collins – 9facts.co.uk So That Not Only Are Those Conflicts Resolved Once And For All But The Couple S Love For One Another Actually Grows And Is Sustained For The Rest Of Their LivesAnyone Who Has Been Married Long Enough To Have A Disagreement Will Benefit From This Unique New Book From Everyone S Favorite Marriage Doctor Some good guidelines on how to successfully negotiate, with some concrete examples and suggestions for specific situations However, I don t resonate with his Love Bank analogy, and his suggestions aren t really grounded in anything other than his considerable number of years of experience as a counselor. Another freebie from Christian audio.com Nice to listen to when I do dishes, or walk The author shares a great deal of practical wisdom, based on his 50 years of marriage, and decades of counseling.Basically, he tells couples to learn to negotiate with one another This really amounts to bargaining He insists that a couple should enthusiastically agree on everything, and do everything it takes to make that happen He applies it practically to various areas of marriage, with good examples.My Another freebie from Christian audio.com Nice to listen to when I do dishes, or walk The author shares a great deal of practical wisdom, based on his 50 years of marriage, and decades of counseling.Basically, he tells couples to learn to negotiate with one another This really amounts to bargaining He insists that a couple should enthusiastically agree on everything, and do everything it takes to make that happen He applies it practically to various areas of marriage, with good examples.My main problem with the book, is that it is merely practical wisdom, and offers nothing biblical or faith based I would recommend this book too people for it s practical wisdom, but I really believe that a marriage needsthan that.The simple fact that God freely loves and forgives us can empower us to treat others in the same way, if we receive it from God This book is just as devoid of the Gospel as His Needs, Her Needs Who would I give it to Probably hard core atheists who still believe in an idea of love and want some principles for maintaining respect and romance through conflict without any principles overtly connected to the Bible So, should Christians relegate this book to the rubbish bin Not necessarily Too often, committed Christians think all will be well if they just put their spouse s needs ahead of their own and submit to one a This book is just as devoid of the Gospel as His Needs, Her Needs Who would I give it to Probably hard core atheists who still believe in an idea of love and want some principles for maintaining respect and romance through conflict without any principles overtly connected to the Bible So, should Christians relegate this book to the rubbish bin Not necessarily Too often, committed Christians think all will be well if they just put their spouse s needs ahead of their own and submit to one another Philippians 2 3, Ephesians 5 21 33 When conflict or resentment arises, we fall into a if I would just submit harder, or if only my spouse would submit like I am mentality that doesn t solve the problem This is where Smalley s book can be useful given a Gospel centered view of marriage and nature, how can I improve our communication and the overall satisfaction of both my mate and myself in marriage I think evangelicals could also do a better job reading about biology, neurology, behavioral economics and the like to understand how habits develop.His Needs, Her Needs operated from a clearly Freudian foundation and this book is no different Much of it revolves around the man s sexual satisfaction as the base of marital happiness Harley has a PhD in psychology and a long time marriage counselor he opens the book with a look at neuropsychology and how the brains of men and women are biologically different These differences explain differences in perceptions, judgement, decision making, and personality.The basic premise Continual self sacrifice creates a win lose situation where one spouse may be submissively unhappy with his end of the bargain So, a wife who submits to her husband s wishes because that s how she understands her role as a wife is likely unhappy about much of it My personal takeaway from this idea is that in marriage we should not suffer in silence We should not submit with a silent hope that I ll go along with what he wants this time, and hopefully he ll reciprocate by doing something I want another time That s not grace, it s secretly trying to earn merit and hoping for the best, and it s a recipe for bitterness Harley is right that the spouse submitted to will likely not see the submission as sacrificial and will simply come to expect it Of course that s how it should be done, he might say Instead, a wife for example can say I ll go along with this because I love and respect you I trust that the consequences of this decision will lead to a happier husband who is also willing to listen to my needs and concerns and help me out as well But let s sit down and work out something we can both be happy with Don t be a dictator, writes Harley Too often spouses play dual dictator roles, playing a game of tit for tat over how something should be done You will each be in an I told you so mode, which is unhelpful Harley advocates a democratic marriage in which both parties win and decisions aren t made unless both parties can be in enthusiastic agreement about the decision He refers back to the love bank idea of His Needs, Her Needs win win agreements allow couples to make simultaneous deposits in the others love bank.Reluctant agreement on issues is dangerous and enthusiastic agreement is a must As a practical example, Harley recommends grocery shopping together without the kids frequently Fill the cart with things you know you ll both be enthusiastic about eating Then, allow for some experimentation the wife can pick a couple things she s most confident the husband will like if he just tries it If he doesn t like it, it never gets bought again Only buy things you will both be happy about.Now, think about the impractical nature of this for a minute I owe this critique to my wife What if there is a particular food allergy one spouse has, or one is a vegetarian Should they only buy foods they both really want Harley allows for the rule to be broken in times of urgency or medical emergency But, in general, he seems to be saying that husband and wife should always eat together and never differ in their choices Separate interests are listed as harmful, and Harley encourages husbands to find activities that the wife enjoys doing to Trading horses by saying I m going bowling with the guys tonight, and you can go shopping with the girls tomorrow are two different win lose situations they violate Harley s rule and he discourages such trade offs Harley applies this thinking to career decisions as well, pursuing a career because you re gifted at it or you particularly like it is not a good enough reason you should only do it if both you and your spouse agree on how the career affects each other Remember, no self sacrifice of one spouse putting career behind the other at least for the long haul his wife worked while he finished his PhD.The other practical problem is with enthusiastic agreement How many times do you make a decision that you re truly enthusiastic about I approach decisions with probability in mind there is uncertainty what the result of the decision will be and how happy either of us will be with the outcome We ll likely be revisiting this decision down the road and adjusting or wishing we d done something differently When writing about how to meet others needs when you are not enthusiastic about it, Harley gives somewhat of a cop out in the form of self sacrifice called something else He basically says enjoy the consequences you ll have of having a happier spouse Communicate about it and see if you can reach a different arrangement in areas where you re unhappy.Harley gives some principles of negotiation Negotiation can only happen when you ve established a framework that you guarantee the others safety and be kind Ground rules include being pleasant and cheerful throughout negotiations If you reach an impasse, come back to the table later There has to be trust, in other words First, both sides need to come to the table knowing what he she wants This also might be unrealistic if one spouse feels strongly about the issuethan the other, see the enthusiastic critique above Ask How would you feel if questions to introduce what you want Brainstorm together, use a notebook to record ideas What are the possible alternatives Lastly, among the alternatives listed, reach enthusiastic agreement about one.You can read these guidelines and other themes of Harley s books at his website concludes the book with an application to sex, time with extended family, and basic budgeting He reminds the reader that his system demands no fewer than 15 hours of undivided attention for your spouse each week.In all, I give this book 2 stars out of 5 It was much shorter than His Needs, Her Needs but has the same fundamental flaw of an unbiblical worldview and absence of the Gospel I gleaned a few good points about communication and negotiation, but recognize that much of what he writes about enthusiastic agreement is unrealistic It is a publish or perish world out there, so I guess Harley has to keep cranking little books like this out to maintain an income flow Title HE WINS, SHE WINSAuthor Willard F Harley, Jr.Publisher RevellOctober 2013ISBN 978 0800722517Genre Marriage relationshipsEvery conflict in your marriage is an opportunity to falldeeply in love.You ve probably heard a lot of advice on how to resolve conflicts in your marriage What you may not know is that if a resolution comes only in order to keep the peace, it s no resolution at all Marriage expert Willard F Harley, Jr., says there s a better way.What s different about the H Title HE WINS, SHE WINSAuthor Willard F Harley, Jr.Publisher RevellOctober 2013ISBN 978 0800722517Genre Marriage relationshipsEvery conflict in your marriage is an opportunity to falldeeply in love.You ve probably heard a lot of advice on how to resolve conflicts in your marriage What you may not know is that if a resolution comes only in order to keep the peace, it s no resolution at all Marriage expert Willard F Harley, Jr., says there s a better way.What s different about the He Wins, She Wins approach is the ultimate goal for you and your spouse to grow in your love for each other This win win model for negotiation starts with a simple rule Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse Think that sounds impossible In this book, Dr Harley will show you how it s been done in his marriage of over fifty years and in the marriages of the thousands of couples he s counseled He ll explain the art of marital negotiation, show you how to resolve common conflicts the right way, and help you overcome these common obstacles emotional reactions are preventing calm discussion neither of you wants to talk about an issue one or both of you are indecisive one of you is happy with the status quo being enthusiastic about anything doesn t seem possibleAnd above all, he ll show you how every decision you make together will increase your love for each other.HE WINS, SHE WINS, is another marriage help book, that will help teach couples how to successfully resolve conflicts in their marriage and strengthen love at the same time As a marriage counselor he s seen people treat each other with respect but yet still file for divorce because they fell out of love So he wants to help improve the love between couples There are some worksheets included such as the Marital Negotiations Worksheet, Emotional Needs Questionaire, and the Love Busters Questionaire, as well as helpful chapters such as How to negotiate when you are emotional Or indecisive Or not enthusiastic about the issue I ve been married twenty five years and we learned, through trial and error, what works and what doesn t I read the book for review, not because I don t get along with my husband I did learn some things enough to recommend this book for any newlywed couple or ones that are struggling to find common ground to avoid divorce Hard cover, with a dustcover, 19.99 192 pages

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